Mother's Day 2013



My Mother and Me - 2005


In my effort to write about Mother’s Day during the month of May, my thoughts ran wildly back to my childhood and all the things my mother did for me.  Then I recalled that only a short while back, I wrote about my mother, Jean Maddern Pitrone, in one of my previous blogs “Birthday’s Come and Go WhetherWe’re Here or Not."  So I am taking a somewhat different approach this Mother’s Day.



1975

It wasn’t until June of 1975 that I began to realize what being a mother really signifies.  Note that I said I “began to realize” because I feel I am still in the infancy stage of truly understanding what being a mother really means.   

 

I am learning by closely watching another mother I know.  I watch how she handles her life, and how she is raising her children. Once in a while I get a glimpse of something that looks vaguely familiar (memories from raising my own children) to something that is entirely a new concept to me.

This young mother I know is one. very. strong. smart. lady.  She is the mother of three little ones.  She single-handedly tends to her beautiful home, works full time, and still has the time and energy to show her children the many special moments that will last a lifetime.  Trips with three in tow don’t stop this woman.  She takes on the zoos (yes, plural), museums, waterparks, and train trips to other cities, all on her own.

This mom is the heart and brain of her home.  She routinely holds mother/daughter days with each of her daughters (separately), and mother/son days with her youngest.

She teaches her children the value of hard work and of being charitable.  The kids have had to earn some things they really want, and have learned the meaning of giving.  The oldest has already made three hair donations to “Children with Hair Loss” and she’s only 7!

This mom is also entertaining (family fun night every Monday) taking pleasure in the fun times with her 3 children.

Oh yeah, and to top it off, two of her children have Celiac Disease, so this special mom can never cheat by wizzing through the McDonalds drive-thru on her way home from work, or by picking up a piping-hot pizza as a quick substitute for dinner once in a while. This mom is always packin’ her own bag-of-treats for her kids.

She makes sure the kids have their lunch and snacks, gluten-free (G.F.) of course, and she shows up at school when the kids’ classes are celebrating another student’s birthday (which is often). This mom comes equipped with her own G.F. cupcakes.  She also has been known to carry her own G.F. pizza when the class is having another(?) pizza party. 

This mom gives the best advice on those tough questions from the kids.  I am sure there will be many more toughies, but I know she can handle it with ease, confidence, and tenderness.

In case you haven’t guessed, this special woman whom I am so proud, is my wonderful daughter. 

Happy Mother’s Day, Lori.
Love Mom.

Birthdays Go On, Whether We’re Here or Not

Today would have been my mother’s 91^st birthday.   I can hear her now in her unwavering tone… “shhhh…don’t tell anyone my age!”  Ever since her age lumped her into the official “senior” category at age 65 she was entitled to the perks of being a senior.  But take those perks?  Not on your life. 

Regardless of the discount offered, not in a million years would she have pulled out her driver’s license to prove she was a senior…no way.  One day I reminded her that she qualified for the discount at the little restaurant where we were dining.  She gave me “the look” and firmly pronounced, “I’ll pay the full price.”

My mother left a lasting legacy through her family and her work.  It was less than 4 years ago I wrote and read the following eulogy at her funeral:

“Our death is not an end if we can live on in our children and the younger generation. For they are us, our bodies are only wilted leaves on the tree of life.”

Surely this quote by Albert Einstein can be aptly applied to my mother, Jean.  She WILL live on through her 9 children, her 17 grandchildren, and her 17 18 19 20 21 great grandchildren (and in the many more greats still to come). 

You know, my mother not only had her 9 children, 17 grandchildren, and 21 great grandchildren, she had some other “children”, too…she gave life to a dozen books.  An accomplished author, I am so proud to say that her work will live on forever. 

But in a small way, I feel I kept her from writing maybe another dozen more!  When my children, Lori and Michael, were preschool age, rarely a day would pass without me packing up the kids and heading to grandma’s and grandpa’s.

Dad was retired, but worked about 6 hours a day at his eldest son’s business.  The time he was away was mom’s quiet time at home when she would be lost in deep-thought, writing.  But it was at that time, I would come knocking at the door with my two little ones in tow. 

Mom never seemed to mind the intrusion, spending time, sometime hours, talking with me and the kids and always having the time to read them a story.

Always a mother, always a grandmother, and always the business woman.  From the early scratch paper and pencil, to the old manual typewriter, to the electric typewriter and, finally to her proficient use of the computer (which, at first, took some prodding to get her to use), my mom could ALWAYS be found either sitting with pencil in hand, at the keyboard, reading the newspapers from cover to cover, watching every news show on television, or taking a daily time-out watching her favorite TV show…Jeopardy.

Mom was born on December 20^th, 1920 (a year I am sure she would normally NOT want me to broadcast) to her parents William Courtney and Gladys Beer Maddern, in the small upper-peninsula mining town of Ishpeming.  Although times were hard, my mom always spoke fondly of her childhood. 

She talked about the good times she had with her 3 best friends…the swimming in the lake, ice skating during the long harsh northern Michigan winters, even playing with dolls until she was 16…..and always spoke so proudly of her alma mater, Ishpeming High School…no other school could compare…not then, not now, not never!!! 

It was there that mom developed an early love of music and writing. After marrying dad in 1940 and moving to the lower-peninsula, mom delved into history and research, writing countless short-stories and articles for numerous publications, and always working on her books.

She was an editorial associate for Writer’s Digest School, director of music at St. Alfred’s Church in Taylor, and an organist for 20 years at Our Lady of Grace Parish in Dearborn Heights where she and dad raised us.

A past president of Detroit Women Writers, mom frequently spoke at writer’s conferences, and, with one of her biographies, Tangled Web: Legacy of the Auto Pioneer John F. Dodge, appeared on Kelly & Company, Unsolved Mysteries, and the Phil Donahue Show.  And I can’t forget to mention the countless music students she taught piano to. 

For years she visited the homes of students to give them their ½ hour music lesson….not to mention her own children’s lessons and, later, her grandchildren’s lessons.  I guess one of the great things about that is even today, many of her grandchildren have pianos in their own homes……such a testament to how her talents and guidance filtered down to other generations…..THAT is what will keep mom alive.

My mom was so very proud of her English heritage, too.  She felt a special closeness to England, so much so, that in 1964 she ventured off, alone, to what she thought of as “her country”.  She felt this closeness through countless stories told to her from her father.  Quite a journey for a mother of 9, (boarding the Queen Mary and the Queen Elizabeth) but it was something she just had to do.

A life not without hardships, I remember when in 1966 my brother, Tony, was sent to Vietnam.  For that year he was gone, I recall my mother pulling up the footstool right in front of the TV and watching every clip that was shot of that awful war, and there was lots of film shot back then that was broadcast daily. 

During that year, I remember that if she was watching the television news, the other kids quickly learned not to interrupt…it was hard on her watching that conflict come alive on TV, knowing that her son was in the middle of it.  When I look back now, I can’t imagine how she did it.

9 children!  Can you envision that?  And she and dad instilled pride in every one of us, and turned us into the hard workers we have become.  Mom ALWAYS had dinner ready…and I mean a big dinner with all the fixings…every day.  Had to be home at 5…no matter what.  Had to be in bed by 11…no matter what.  House rules.

Mom had a long life, but in the past years, experienced terrible pain, but she was never a complainer.   As long as she could read and write, she was content.  Two days ago, mom gave up her fight.  She is at peace now.  The Lord called her home, and one day, we will all be reunited. 

Love you mom.