Today it’s officially been 4 years since my divorce was finalized.I’ve read where it takes about 1 year to heal for every 5 years married. So, statistically speaking, after my 36 year marriage, before I jump into another committed relationship, I should wait about 7 ½ years. That means I have another 3 ½ years to go. It’s what the “experts” say anyway, although everyone is different.
But no need to worry. I am not even remotely looking to jump into any relationship, let alone a committed one. I relish my alone time way too much.
During my first divorced year, I turned to internet dating sites. Perhaps it was just for some “validation” I thought I may have needed. People at any age need to feel wanted or desired.
I met many people for first “coffee” dates, but only chose to meet a few for a couple dates each. That was about it. I think the dating sites helped me feel excited again at a time when it seemed all enjoyment was lost…but that type of excitement was short-lived.
These days, I am happy working at my part-time home-based job, and delighted that I can watch my 5 grandchildren while their parents can work without worry. Nothing is more important to me than family.
In the 4 years post-divorce, I haven’t been anywhere on vacation or done anything spectacular, but I think it may be time to bust out of my cocoon. I’ve learned a lot about life, men, marriage, dating, and most of all ME!
Whether change comes through forgiveness or discovery, I like to remind myself that “Changed People, Change People.”
